We're determined...

...to bring a baby home in 2007. I am staying home from work tomorrow to get our Gladney paperwork in order and shipped, maybe couriered, to Texas. I talked to Sean about ending the blog here since this was such a let down for everyone. If I wasn't blogging, we could have kept this to ourselves and nobody would have been let down except for us. But now, I feel like our blog needs a happy ending. We can't just end it here - it would be like a foreign film with a really depressing ending. We need the American ending. We're determined to get it.

We are putting all the baby supplies, clothes, bassinet, etc. in the spare bedroom and will close the door until we come home from Texas with baby in arms. I am going to be petrified to meet another birthmother. I won't lie about that. We refuse to get on a plane to meet someone before we get a complete written profile from Gladney that explains in detail the outcome of all the counseling the birthmother has received. That might not be completely possible but we will try our best to make sure it happens.
More to come...

He's still in there!

I don't think he wants to come out. I keep telling myself each day I wake up that we are one day closer to his birth. It can't go backwards right? So it looks like we have a few betters...I think I will continue to bet on Sunday, April 22nd along with Janet and Debbie. For all we know, it could even be NEXT weekend. After talking with so many people, they said they were two weeks late in delivering their first child. It's quite the possibility. I just need to remain patient. So if he is born on Sunday, we will bring him home on Tuesday or Wednesday. As of today, we know he definitely won't be coming home with us this weekend. But we are getting closer and closer...

My hardworking husband...

Sean has made so much progress with the office and getting things done around the house. He finished grouting the floor in the office last night and it looks amazing. He also painted our bedroom and changed the furniture around so it's baby friendly. I feel like I live in a brand new house - it looks great. Thanks Sean! We set up the bassinet last night and was really careful to read all the directions to make sure it's sturdy and safe. I woke up this morning and saw it there in the corner...I still feel like this is all a dream. We are ready now - we have everything we need to bring the baby home. Danielle shipped our car seat/infant carrier down to us so it will arrive today or tomorrow (thanks Danielle!!) We are finally ready to bring Jake home!
The nursery isn't set up yet but that's okay - it doesn't need to be. We want to take our time with it. Lucy is getting curious about all the new "things" in the house. I caught her sticking her head in the Baby Gap bag with all his clothes in it. She's being nosy and it was really cute catching her.
I spoke to my team about cutting my time short at JCK this year and they all agree. They said Jake is going to want me home with him so I just need to worry about being away for 4 or 5 days. (So much better than 11 days.)
We're going to start a pool on when we think Jenny is going into labor. I think she will go on Sunday afternoon. Linda thinks she's going in tonight. Anyone else?
I haven't yet figured out what the prize will be for the accurate better. Maybe the winner will get some of Lucy's toys that don't fit in her toy basket anymore. Just joking - we'll think of something good.
XOXO
Des and Sean

No call yet

We didn't get a call today about Jenny and Jake. It's actually giving us more time to prepare and get things together. I went out and bought the bassinet, bottles, a new wardrobe from Baby GAP (thank you Erin and Andy), wipes, some burp clothes, and a card for Jenny. I am going to write her a letter and I think I am going to give her an empty photo album. This way she can put the pictures we will send her in it if she wants to. I wasn't sure what I should get for her. What do you give someone who is giving you their baby? There really doesn't seem like an appropriate gift. There aren't enough words we can express to her to thank her for giving us this life to take care of.
It was really fun shopping for Jake today. I can somehow picture him in these little outfits and hats. I got him some silly onesies that say funny things. There was one that said "I like bikini watching." I almost got it but I put it back - I don't want him to get a bad reputation at such a young age.
Last night my sister Denise and her husband Vito came down. They ended up staying over and because we are painting our bedroom, Sean and I slept in Jake's room and we both woke up in good moods. It's really peaceful in his room - we think he will really like it.

Making progress at home

Today Sean and I decided to accomplish too many things. We woke up early and started by cleaning the house and worked on tiling the floor of the office. Then we picked up the baby furniture (finally) with the help of my co-worker and his wife. Now I am purging old papers and things from our "old office" that we don't need anymore. If that wasn't enough, we decided to re-paint our bedroom and redesign it. We emptied the bedroom out and Sean is going to start sanding the trim and walls after he comes down from the roof and caulking around the chimney. I'm actually not sure that's the accurate word for what he's doing but it sounded good to me.
Good thing there is a nor'easter coming so we can stay inside all day tomorrow and finish these projects.
Did I pick up the bassinet, bottles and coming home outfit yet? No. But I can't wait to do that tomorrow. We got an email from Mary with all the details from Jenny on her hospital wishes. She would like us to come for discharge and she will be present. She told us to bring the infant carrier (car seat) and a going home outfit. So now we just wait. I called some pediatrician's yesterday and unfortunately my first choice is no longer taking patients. But I found another one who was really nice and knowledgeable who also came highly recommended. It's going to be nice knowing we will get a call and then we have two days to really get things together before we go up there. That is going to be a tough day for all of us. Sean already warned me that on our drive up there, he is going to curse a lot out of disbelief. It still isn't completely sinking in...it will when we hear Jake cry in the middle of the night. That will be our reality check.
Love Des and Sean
Picture: Me and Debbie holding Jill's twins right after they were born (Ella and Ethan.)

Due Date's Tomorrow But Not Ready Yet

Sorry to be absent from the blog site (Janet et al.) After a nice trip to Florida, we are back and racing to get things ready for Jake's homecoming. Everything is still on target and we are all on the same page with the Good Faith agreement. It's getting closer and closer and Mary is now working on getting us all the details on the hospital and directions and everything else. We got word that Jenny had an ultrasound on Monday and the doctor says she has about another week yet before she goes. This makes us very happy because we bought ourselves another weekend to finish things up around the house. I started washing all the baby clothes we bought and I can't wait to put them away in his dresser (which is still sitting in the Babies R'Us stock room.) There is so much to do and all I can do right now is laugh because I never thought I would be so unprepared for this. Linda gave us some newborn diapers that Lilah never got to wear so we're good for a couple days there. Hopefully he isn't a moose like I was when I was born or he won't fit in them. I wish I knew how much he measured and weighed. I sat with our Human Resources Director today and told her our news and she was so happy she cried. She thought I was quitting and was really nervous. We are all taking this one day at a time. I am trying to stay calm even though it's difficult. I have so many things going on at work and then everything we need to do around the house seems so overwhelming. But we will get through it. We always do.

Exciting News

Sorry to keep everyone in suspense - that was not my intention today. I will start by recapping my morning. I got into work early to get some work done since I am leaving for vacation tomorrow and as I was writing an agreement, I knocked my coffee all over my laptop. I tried drying it best I could and I continued typing. About 15 minutes later, my screen started popping and blinking at me. I knew it was going downhill. Nobody was here - it was 6:45am. I was helpless. Finally IT came in at 8:30am while I twiddled my thumbs and panicked. They said my laptop was destroyed. Long story short, I've been without email communication and computer access all day long. I finally just got it back and now I am rushing to finish everything before I leave tonight. But, most importantly, I wanted to blog because there are a few of you who are sitting on the edge of your seats for an update.
Well, Mary called last night around 9:00. She said, "Desiree, I have terrific news. Jenny and her parents are madly in love with you and Sean and want you to be the adoptive parents of her baby. They agree to your parameters with slight modification (nothing deal breaking) and want you to draw up a letter of good faith basically because they trust you and Sean completely."
Therefore, this translates to - we are well on our way to bringing Jake home. As exciting as this is, we also have to be VERY cautious. Papers haven't been signed and cannot be signed until 48 hours after he is born. I would hate everyone to start getting excited and planning play dates and then she changes her mind. It's quite possible and can be a very real situation. But also, the majority of time, the birth mothers do not change their mind and these adoptions are successful.
Are we excited? Hell ya!!!
Was I working on the good faith letter when I spilled my coffee? Yup. (Sean said it's not a sign and I'm crazy if I think that.)
It's nice to hear how much they love us. Doreen (Jenny's case worker) said they are basically putty in our hands at this point. They just kept reiterating how much they love us and can't say enough about us. It's more than we ever dreamed of - I really can't believe it. From one meeting, that's all it took. Wow.
So now we just wait for her to go into labor. once we get that call, we are going to wait 48 hours when she signs and then we head to the hospital. It is possible she goes into labor early, it's possible for her to go late. All we know is that we are approaching her due date and this baby is coming whether we are ready or not.
I apologize for keeping everyone in suspense once again when I leave for Florida tomorrow. I will try my best to find a business center and log in if there is any newsworthy editorial to write.
Thank you for all the blessings and good thoughts you've all been sending our way. This is what's been keeping us going. It's like my coffee in the morning. The one I keep in my cup and not on my laptop.
Love Always,
Des and Sean

Tick tock tick tock tick...

Mary sent Doreen our email today because she was having email issues yesterday. I asked her what she thought and she said it was terrific. She said one piece was a little stringent so I softened my language a bit. She got off the phone and called Doreen and "softened" my language over the phone. So now we wait. And the hours pass and I know they are considering it. I have a lump in my throat - we want this in the worst way. The more days that pass, we want this baby boy! And I will share with you all that if he is ours, his name will be Jake Samuel. (I actually wrote that in my "parameter email.") I hope they like it too.
We spoke to our attorney yesterday who has also gone through the adoption process and has had an unbelievably positive experience. He even has the birthmother come and stay with him once a year! I know that sounds crazy to most of you but strangely enough, being in our situation, it doesn't sound so strange to us anymore. Of course we wouldn't ever do that...it's just not right for us but it's not crazy. Adoption isn't like a Lifetime movie where you have to look over your shoulder and keep one eye open when sleeping at night. It's really a rewarding and amazing experience. I can't believe how far Sean and I have some with the acceptance and comfort levels (to some degree anyway.) Our main concern is not to have any interference with our daily life - we are too busy for that. Our attorney said we should agree to everything up front and negotiate later. He apparently is a pro at this and said no matter what he tells us, we won't calm down because he wasn't calm in their first adoption. He said birth family's generally lose interest after the first couple years. They only want to see pictures for so long and then they move on. (Gladney told us the same thing.) He thinks this is a phenomenal situation for us. Talking to him actually put me at ease with a lot of this.
Anyway, the phone just rang and my heart stopped. I was hoping it was Mary but it was the Red Cross and I got mad. I know a lot of you have called over the past couple days and haven't gotten a call back. I am SO sorry and it's not intentional. Work has been extremely busy especially since I am trying to wrap things into a 3-day week since we are heading to Florida on Thursday. And finally I am starting to get the words back and form sentences to people to talk about all of this. My head has stopped spinning for the time being and my fingers are crossed that Jake will be coming home with us VERY soon.
XOXO
Des

Sent our parameters over

Mary already called me first thing this morning to get our decision. Unfortunately it's not just a clear cut decision like that. Sean and I agreed to draft an email outlining the parameters of the adoption and any future contact we are comfortable with. So everyone is clear, once the adoption is terminated, we are not bound to anything. We could get up and move to Egypt and not tell anyone and we are not legally tied. This is a good faith agreement and we would enter the same type of agreement with Gladney. In domestic adoptions, there is no such thing as a closed adoption. In almost all cases, the adoptive family meets the birth mother or birth family and remains contact in some way post adoption. Basically, this is an occasional photo now and again. Sean and I are very comfortable with that. It may not be right for every one but the personalities that Sean and I have, we are okay with it.
With all of that said up front, we've sent our parameters to Mary and she will forward them to Doreen. Doreen will relay our parameters to the birth family and we'll find out (hopefully soon.) I made it very clear that we understand the birth mother's stance on this and we feel strongly about them being comfortable and at peace with their decision. We do not want them to comply and not feel good about it - that is the last thing we want.
The next thing on my agenda is to deal with this job offer now. They already called this morning asking for my decision. You know that game when we were kids where the little animal popped through the wood holes and we would take a mallot and hit the hole and he would pop through another one? This is what our life feels like right now.