Too Close For Comfort?

Sean and I took the last few days and discussed this possible scenario. Although very exciting and appealing, we still have many reservations about adopting through Connecticut. CT laws are very similar to Texas laws. The one difference is that once the birthmother signs the relinquishment papers, the case gets filed with probate court for a hearing. This process could take 4-5 weeks in CT (in Texas, it's only 8-10 days.) But everything else is the same.
We spoke with Mary yesterday and she clarified the laws for us but she still didn't have updated birthparent information. We told her we wanted to know more about the birth father and we wanted to get a good sense of what kind of openness the birth-families are looking for. She mentioned that the birthmother wanted photos after the placement but also mentioned she wanted some visits aferwards. This is something Sean and I are NOT comfortable with. Mary insists that this shouldn't be the deal breaker on our end if we were to move forward with it. She has plenty of adoptive parents who do this and she wants to put us in touch with them.
Sean and I talked at length last night and we decided we don't want to talk to them. We already know we would never be comfortable doing that - especially because it's an in-state adoption. We don't want to feel like we're looking over our shoulders the rest of our lives - at the mall, the beach, wherever. We would have sleepless nights.
So, with all of that said, our hearts are with Texas (Gladney.) Mary is still getting us more information today on the birthparents but after we listen, we're pretty much going to tell her that we're not comfortable with this. We need to stay focused and on track with the Gladney process. It's very nice and flattering that Mary thinks we would be a good fit for this situation and vice versa and even though the Gladney process could take a lifetime longer, we're okay with that. OK, it won't be a lifetime but it could take up to 18 months. Sean seems to think it won't but I am trying to prepare myself for the worst case scenario.
Mary changed our last appointment to Saturday at 2pm. My profile will be finished by then and all our paperwork is completed. The only outstanding things we have are our doctors forms (we both have appointments this week) and two more outreach presentations. (I have to meet with our priest who has no idea who we are and a high school guidance counselor.) But after all of that tedious legwork, we are ready. We are almost at our destination to be in the Gladney pool.
Thanks for all of the wonderful comments and excitement. I hope we're not letting anyone down by backing off this scenario. Who knows, Gladney could call saying they have someone for us in April too!
Love, Des and Sean